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Who Will Mind the Minders?

Who Will Mind the Minders?

A minder is someone whose job is to look after and protect others.  They are respected authorities and seen as gatekeepers in a community.  But how do we ensure that the minders are doing their jobs? What mechanism can we employ to ensure they are working in the interest of their beneficiaries versus their own …

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Activism As a Cover For Abuse

Activism As a Cover For Abuse

بِسمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحمٰنِ الرَّحيمِ  وَإِذا قيلَ لَهُم لا تُفسِدوا فِي الأَرضِ قالوا إِنَّما نَحنُ مُصلِحونَ أَلا إِنَّهُم هُمُ المُفسِدونَ وَلٰكِن لا يَشعُرونَ         When it is said to them: “Make not mischief on the earth,” they say: “Why, we only want to make peace!” Of a surety, they are the ones who …

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“My Shaykh’s Marriage Advice” – Shaykh Tameem Ahmadi

“My Shaykh’s Marriage Advice” – Shaykh Tameem Ahmadi

We often hear of Muslims who are ostensibly pious but tyrannical to their spouses. “Musa in the masjid and Firaun at home” as the saying goes. In this audio for In Shaykh’s Clothing, Shaykh Tameem Ahmadi explains that treating one’s wife with respect and dignity is essential to piety.  The righteous honored women in their family and …

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Attorney Danya Shakfeh’s Article on Using Legal Analysis to Address Claims of Spiritual Abuse

Attorney Danya Shakfeh’s Article on Using Legal Analysis to Address Claims of Spiritual Abuse

Our own Danya Shakfeh was recently published in the latest issue of the International Cultic Studies Association Magazine, ISCA Today (page 14).  Her article, titled  “Using Legal Analysis to Address Claims of Spiritual Abuse” is a rendition of our previously posted article on appropriately addressing spiritual claims of spiritual abuse. Defining and clearly elucidating a standard for …

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Triggers

Triggers

Triggers are an important concept to understand. We have victims of molestation, sexual abuse, bullying, etc who see their abusers on pulpits, praised on social media, and within their own families. We cannot expect them to ‘just get over it’ as if nothing happened. We have to understand what these victims may go through by …

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“People have dignity. Everyone has dignity.”

“People have dignity. Everyone has dignity.”

Whether the head of an institution or a volunteer, everyone is equal in dignity.  Dignity is a right that is intrinsically tied to the human.  The existence of a hierarchy is natural and needed, but when those in lower positions are humiliated, bullied, and treated without basic dignity, it hurts us all collectively.  “All ranks, …

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Innocent Until Proven Guilty is More Than a Formality

Innocent Until Proven Guilty is More Than a Formality

Introduction  Following a few recent allegations of sexual abuse, many are debating the meaning and application of the maxim “innocent until proven guilty.” As we have discussed before, believing victims and upholding the “innocent until proven guilty” standard are not mutually exclusive. First, “innocent until proven guilty” is not a simply legal formality that only …

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Mufti Mudassir Owais on Sincerity and Checking One’s Intentions

Mufti Mudassir Owais on Sincerity and Checking One’s Intentions

In an interview with me, Mufti Mudassir Owais, a teacher and resident scholar at Islamic Center of Fremont, speaks about the importance of sincerity in speech and actions and checking one’s intentions.   Danish Qasim: The talk is in Urdu and I have added my own translation below: In the name of Allah, the most …

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Setting the Record Straight on Handling Allegations of Sexual Misconduct And Spiritual Abuse

Setting the Record Straight on Handling Allegations of Sexual Misconduct And Spiritual Abuse

Over the past few months, women have been more open about sexual advances and aggressions against them by men. Speaking more openly was (arguably) popularized with the #MeToo social media campaign initially started by activist Tarana Burke then popularized by actress Alyssa Milano in October 2017. The Muslim community certainly is not immune to these phenomena. …

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Understanding the Offensive Tactics Employed by Narcissists

Understanding the Offensive Tactics Employed by Narcissists

Dr. George Simon, author of In Sheep’s Clothing, Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People, explains that narcissistic games are not coming from a place of pain or insecurity, rather they are offensive tactics to establish dominance.  This is an important  video for anyone dealing with a narcissist. It’s very difficult for targets to understand the offensive …

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